The Senior Project Poems

Hey all, I haven't posted in so long so here we go :) These are the poems that Kyle Deeley, Kelsey Carbonell, and Rachel Bega will be performing on Friday, May 7, 2010 at the Gallerie Hä in Wailuku. It's my senior project so yay :) The first poem will be performed by Kelsey and Rachel, the second one is by Kyle, and the third one will be performed by all three. Come out and enjoy if you want!

Poem #1: Our Love

So there was this boy right?

And ooh I was in love

I fell deeper and deeper

And mmm it was fun.

But then

I messed up

Drinking in the bathroom on the last day of school

Talking to too many boys I thought were cool

He was mad

Crazy, psycho, how could you hurt me mad

So I apologized-

And apologized-

And apologized-

Because I was in love

There’s a funny thing about love

I can hurt and hurt and never leave

It’s a drug-

And I’m addicted

To the screaming and the rage

To The crying and the tears

To The hurt and the pain

For those few moments-

Of bliss.

They never said it was easy

It wasn’t all wrong

The touches, the kiss, the warm breath on my neck

pulling me, begging me-

come closer.

I was in love

His favorite thing to say was

“What is wrong with you?”

My reply?

“I don’t know”

Truth is I’m an alcoholic, cutting, fat, bitch

I don’t care who I hurt or what I say.

Right?

Wrong

I love I cry with the best of them

I love I cry with you

I saved your life from yourself

Took the knives out of your room

Because I was in love.

Truth is I’m a friend, a sister, a daughter, a person.

I am an individual.

And I am still in love

With my friends, my family, my life, my art

Yes-

You were the first

Yes-

You had everything

But I’m brand new

I got a new plan in mind

I’m stronger than ever before-

Because of you.

You pushed me to be better

Broke me to be yours

I am solid

And I am still in love

Poem #2: Class

So I was sitting in class

Waiting.

Just waiting

My work is done

So I sit

And wait

And I wonder

Wonder, “Why the fuck am I still here?”

My car is outside

Ready for a getaway

Why don’t I just leave?

Have I been trained so thoroughly to stay put

That I am content?

Content to waste my time

Let life pass by

Let opportunities fly

While I……….

Just wait?

NO, I want to stand up and walk out

Roam this earth and learn by experience

I don’t want to read about adventures.

Its time I had my own

Looking around as people take their tests

Evaluations of what I know?

No, these are examinations on what I’m going to forget

As soon as I walk out that door.

So what am I waiting for?

I’m gonna go

Grab my bag and leave

Who cares if I get in trouble?

Lose a few meaningless points for misbehavior

I’d be free

But with a lower grade

My A might drop to an A-

No that can’t happen

My world would end

The sky would fall

In a cacophony of rage

And the earth would crack open to the deepest circle of Hades

Rising from the deep would come the Kraken

Laughing hysterically at my report card

Emblazoned with a gigantic A-

Oh the shame as my family looks upon me with scorn

As the cold claws of the kraken drag me

Down

Down

Down

Deeper into hell

Where I scream

Day upon day

The A- burned into my eyelids

As I try to sleep in my fiery cell

That I share with some dude named

“Vladamir”

And just when I am almost done painting the scarlet A-‘s over the wall.

They disappear

And I must start again

Oh the agony!!!!

No I’ll sit

And wait

And wonder

Because I have been trained to stay put

Poem #3: God?

i want to be holy-

i miss feeling that something loves me-

no matter what i do-

or say-

or hide-

someone forgives me-

i miss the acceptance from others-

knowing i belong even though i dont-

like this one time at church camp-

i met my best friends-

realized people care-

realized i could be who i am and do what i do-

church camp set me free-

there god is a family-

so of course i ran away-

i got scared so i ditched-

"god! i dont want your religion! Leave me alone!"-

"i'm sick of people telling me what to believe"

“what happens at church camp stays at church camp"

i destroyed it-

turned it into dirt-

when in fact, church is my home-

a hot room with 30 kids who dont know

what to do-

or what they should believe

or who they are

i found god in a prayer for a little girl who lost her family and had been beaten down by those she trusted

i found god in soulmates meeting by chance-

I found god in volunteer cooks who make the best pancakes in the world-

i found god and i ran away

now i see my family in their home-

with my god-

inside jokes i will never understand-

bonds that can’t be broken-

im looking in and its so cold outside-

im seeing the forgiveness-

and the love-

and the acceptance

for now i am wandering

left in the world

searching

forever searching

for a sign or symbol of who i was

when there was god

then i see a young man helping grandma across the street

a boy carrying a girl’s books and keeping his hands to himself

friends laughing as they walk down the street

and i know that god is still here,

with me

watching me

keeping me safe

its everywhere

in the comfort of a mother and her baby

in the steady ocean currents

in the lost girl, wandering alone

god is here

waiting

but i am too far gone-

I’m still running away-

hoping-

that home will open its doors again

welcoming me

home-

home with my family-

in the arms of my god-

holy once more-